You Know You’re Too Obsessed With Darkstar, Wayrift and Dreigiau When…

By: Jamie

– You lock all of your foodstuffs away when you find out your friend has a relative with the initials “KY”- You warn all the local girls of a womanizing astronomer when his (or her!) name is Kory, Cory or Corri, or any variations thereof

– You have a cherry Pop Tart fetish and fangs, so you insist that everyone you know call you Lord Zemi or Dreigiau

– You have cherry Pop Tarts for breakfast every morning and keep an eye out for white-haired guys

– You buy a box of Twinkies, you look around frantically for a white-haired green-eyed guy named Ben or Golbez

– You ask anyone you meet whose name is Ben if they have a semi-evil Dimensional Twin who spells his name backwards

– You meet someone of normal height named Cid and ask why they are so tall for being a dwarf

– You meet someone named Kory and instantly become suspicious as to whether or not they’re trying to hit on you

– You build model airships in your spare time because it makes you feel closer to Leona

– You dress like Leona in hopes that the real Ben will come along and mistake you for his spunky friend.

– You give yourself headaches trying to have your own Sygnus transformation

– You walk into walls constantly, trying to find a way into the Borderlands

– You write to the Wayrift figments, asking them to marry you

– You write to the Wayrift figments, asking them to ask their authors to marry you

– There have been 100 hits on one or all of the websites in one day. and they’re all you, checking in to see if they have been updated yet.

– You wear an apron that says “Chocobos – The New Chicken”

– You eat napkins just to be like your idol, Aiden Klu Ya

– You decide to have twin boys and name your children Golbez and Zeblog

– You bleach your hair white and run around telling people you’re a Lunarian from the Red Moon

– You ask every game retailer in your town and all neighboring cities if they have the latest version of Kung Fu Achoo

– You know what Kung Fu Achoo is

– You ask a plastic surgeon about getting black armor grafted to your skin

– You hug your local Tyrant every day and call him Zeblog, even though he’s really a crappy tyrant and calls himself Evil King Stan. (Okage reference =)

– You run around speaking in “Lunarian” – the few words you hear on Darkstar, Wayrift and Dreigiau, plus a bunch of gibberish you make up on the spot that “sounds cool”

– You know what exactly a Dreigiau is and could define the term on a moment’s notice

– You keep plushies of all of the Darkstar, Wayrift and Dreigiau characters by your bed – the Ben and Klu Ya ones set right next to you to protect you from Zeblog

– Whenever someone sneezes, you instantly think they’re challenging you to a game of Kung Fu Achoo

– You make “You Know You’re Too Obsessed With Darkstar, Wayrift and Dreigiau When.” lists o.o

– You search vainly for copies of PlayBaronian

– You write PlayBoy and ask if they have a Mina Minx working for them

– You know why Klu Ya is called Grumpy on occasion