Kipburger in Paradise

Parody of “Cheeseburger in Paradise”
Written by Valer

Tried to amend my carnivorous habits.
Made it nearly seventy days,
Losin’ weight without speed, eatin’ sunflower seeds,
Drinkin’ lots of carrot juice and soakin’ up rays.

But at night I’d have these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat.
Not zucchini, fettuccini, or bulgur wheat,
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat.
Kipburger is paradise.
Heaven on earth with an onion slice.
Not too particular, not too precise.
I’m just a Kipburger in paradise.

Heard about the old time sailor men,
They eat the same thing again and again;
Warm beer and bread they say could raise the dead.
Well, it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn.

But times have changed for sailors these days.
When I’m in port I get what I need;
Not just Havanas or banana or daiquiris,
But that Baronian creation on which I feed!

Kipburger is paradise medium rare with mustard’d be nice
Not too particular, not too precise
I’m just a Kipburger in paradise.

I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold rootbeer
Well, good God Almighty which way do I steer

For a Kipburger in paradise
Makin’ the best of every virtue and vice.
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice
To get a Kipburger in paradise;
To be a Kipburger in paradise.
I’m just a Kipburger in paradise.